


Time Does Not Always Heal

by goetterdamerung



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-03
Updated: 2009-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-04 11:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goetterdamerung/pseuds/goetterdamerung
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Melancholic Merlin</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Does Not Always Heal

Wizened eyes surveyed the remnants of his former home; its dream left incomplete and an air of melancholy pervading the very ground upon which his feet and gnarled body stood. Staring out beyond the horizon, his pupils dilating widely as images from the past superimposed themselves upon the present, until before him his past had recreated itself. Letting himself drift into the memory he closed his eyes and allowed them take over; propelling himself back, a millennia back – to his home... to Arthur.

 

~**~

 

"Will you get a move on Merlin? I don't have all day to waste waiting for you." Arthur's annoyed voice echoes from within the chamber, jarring Merlin from his reverie.

"Prat," Merlin mutters under his breath before replying louder "Coming... Your Highness." Never let it be said that he couldn't manage deference and sarcasm, just doing both at the same time meant that he was being a good efficient servant... At least that was what Merlin thought anyway.

A loud put upon sigh is his only reply and letting his own – albeit quieter – sigh out, he just knows that today was going to be one of those days, Merlin finished packing the saddle bags with a little more speed and much more care than usual.

No need to aggravate Arthur any further he supposed.

Feeling eyes boring into his back, Merlin turns to face Arthur, only to be faced with an inscrutable glare and clenched jaw... yes, today was definitely going to be one of those days.

Turning back to his task, Merlin put Arthur's mood to one side and focussed on finishing packing.

The strange thing about trying to put something aside in your mind; the more you try to ignore it, the more it stays stubbornly there daring you to face it. Merlin has seen that look before, actually, it seems that that particular expression was solely reserved for him these days and was becoming, more often than not, the default for any interaction between Arthur and himself.

Finally finished with the packing, Merlin reaches for the saddlebags and swings them onto his shoulder... and forgetting inertia, promptly pirouettes', landing in a graceless heap at a seething Arthur's feet.

The slam of the chamber door cuts Arthur's invective short, leaving nothing but an echo of the slam and a red faced manservant sprawled on the floor.

 

~**~

 

"It doesn't matter what I do Gwen, as far as he's concerned, nothing is good enough for him. His armour is never polished enough, his mail still has rust spots, his sword still has nicks in it, his..."

"Aren't you taking this a bit personal Merlin?" Gwen replies cautiously, "I mean, he is the Prince and you haven't been his manservant for that long, maybe..."

"No Gwen, I know all my chores are done perfectly, what is the point in using ma... my brain to observe how things as done."

Breathing a quiet sigh of relief, he hadn't realised he was getting that worked up that he almost revealed it. Just what he needed, a quick trip to the headsman to round off an already phenomenally bad day, not that Gwen would tell... but you could never be too careful either.

"I think I'll just head back to my chambers, see if I can avoid anymore disasters today."

"That might be an idea Merlin; perhaps you might be able to follow at least one order then tomorrow without making a hash of it."

Arthur's voice making Merlin leap in the air, cheeks flaming in mortification and not a small amount of anger, looking up at Arthur defiantly, Merlin replies tersely, "As you wish."

Praying to whatever divinity may be listening so not to make a fool of him; he turns and walks back to his chamber.

It seems that Loki must have been the one listening in on his prayer as one foot caught the riser of the step. On his way down Merlin reminds himself that he needs to find another god to listen in as the steps race to meet him up close and personal.

Merlin was right, today was one of those days.

 

~**~

 

Opening his eyes, Merlin lets the present reassert itself in his mind, a wry smile creasing his face even more than the passage of a millennium. He knows just how he seemed to Arthur in those first few months, nothing more than an idiot boy with an over-inflated opinion of himself and big ears... can't forget the big ears. His wry smile turning into a real one as he remembers Arthur's views on his ears; and if his smile turns melancholy, so be it, there was no-one else around to see anyway.

Many things change with time, most things really, but there are some things that don't... Arthur's place in Merlin's heart is one such constant.

Oh yes, it took months for Merlin to realise just what was going on inside his mind and body, even longer to accept it inside his heart as well, but once there and acknowledged, it was there for all time... for all good and all the bad.

So much time has passed since he last saw Arthur, so much time since Merlin finally uttered those three words as Arthur lay dying at Mont Badon with Mordred's blade still embedded within his side.

Over a thousand years has passed since Arthur looked at him and said, "I know."

Merlin knows his time is soon nigh, there is nowhere left here for him anymore. History has been distorted by time into nothing more than tales and fantasy and like any other creature of the old religion, Merlin remains on this plane only by belief and soon that belief will be gone leaving him nothing more than a memory... the same that Arthur is to him.

Shaking off his sense of loss and sadness, Merlin turns and slowly walks back into the welcoming shadows of the forest, perversely glad that the fading daylight matches his mood as the darkness swallows him once more.


End file.
